just so you know...

YES! i am still alive.

NO! i have no fucking free time on my hands.

YES! summer courses are raping me up the ass.

NO! i won't slack off the whole summer.

well, expect a couple posts over the next couple weeks, while i'm avoiding midterms :)

HEY ALL!!

procrastination, with a side of bisexuality.

so i'm currently watching season two of south of nowhere, fawning over facebook photos, and chatting on msn. sounds like a wicked day, if i wasn't supposed to be writing my psychology and religion essay. this is the last big thing i have to do before finals, yet i can't motivate myself to start on it (clearly due tomorrow).

i already submitted my proposal so i know what i'm writing about.. here, here's my little bullshit abstract:

Focus: Religion, Psychology, and the Acceptance of Sexuality

Objective:
To produce an objective overview, citing both religious and psychological theory, of the acceptance/rejection of alternative forms of sexuality in modern western society. I will also address the recent societal progression towards acceptance of homosexuality, and the ramifications for other orientations.

see, usually i'm spot on when it comes to debating sexuality and whatnot... but for some reason right now i'm at a loss. i've been pretty passionate about the subject, especially when it comes to the issue of bisexuality.. for example, in response to bisexuality on the L word (most specifically relating to tina), i wrote:

"[In general] this whole issue of bisexuality runs along the same lines as looking at something like transgendered individuals. When you're talking about gender, most of modern society still sees it as a strict dichotomy between male and female. The same thing translates into sexuality. Now that homosexuality is becoming more acceptable (little by little), it's the shades of grey that make people uncomfortable. Now that we have 2 clear definitions of sexuality (heterosexual and homosexual), society wants you to choose one or the other.

I myself have nothing against the bisexual community, but I feel that since there now is this dichotomous split between gay and straight that people do not understand the concept of bisexuality. It's the either/or mentality that causes the misconceptions about bisexuality as a whole -- ie. seeing it as an excuse for promiscuity, etc. And this is the reason why both camps have trouble accepting it as a legitimate orientation.

The same logic is behind why people have trouble understanding transgendered individuals -- people believe that you are born as physically male or female (obviously mistaking sex for gender). The new prevalent view on sexuality in the scientific community suggests the same thing -- you are born as either gay or straight. So even in this new perspective, bisexuals are left in the dark. And as always, people find it simpler to reject the inbetween rather than understand it."

...

"[Acceptance] likely will come in time, but right now mainstream society is still getting used to the idea of homosexuality... so it will definately take a while to fill in the blanks.

As far as the L Word is concerned... Is the representation crude? Yes. But, unrealistic? Sadly, no.

Many bisexuals who exist in the lesbian community for an extended period of time and then decide they want to persue a heterosexual relationship do face the sort of discrimination that Tina is facing from the other L Word characters -- similar to the way a woman who has identified as a bisexual but has been in exclusively heterosexual relationships may face discrimination from her peers should she choose to date another woman."

there's a good chance i'll reproduce some of this in my essay, but for now i have absolutely no direction to go in. there isn't exactly a plethora of empirical research on the subject. FUCK.

all nighter #2 is on tap.. i want some wine.

boredom would actually be welcome right now...

so, i got back home from waterloo on the 20th... (yes, i've got 12 days of freedom... sweet miserable freedom) ...and since then it seems like i've had each day planned out down to the second. time with family, time with friends, time with the other group of friends, then the other friends. maybe i should stop running in so many different social circles.

on the same note, i gotta tell ya it's the strangest feeling in the world when you have/had a set group of friends who won't hang out together anymore. 3 or 4 won't get along with the one that you're closest with and it makes you feel like finland, being fought over by russia and sweden. in reality, i just wanna be switzerland. sit back and watch everything unfold... but that's not even realistic is it? gah.

so here i am. decisions decisions, and i'm the most indecisive of all. notorious for my passivity, i'm starting to wonder if i even care. i mean fuck it, i get along with everyone, that's just me and always has been.

people suck sometimes. friends included.

new years? hardest thing to figure out. 4 different places to be but only one me. maybe it'd be easier if i just stayed home and pissed off everyone??

more friends = more expectations = more commitments = more disappointments = poopy shit.
(that's the logic i've boiled it down to)

ah well, i'm used to it.

on a not so depressing note, shopping is by far my favourite pastime. i need more student loans before i go broke :) boxing day was delectable. FOREWARNING: new snowboard boots, here i come... maybe the snow will come with me...


i'll end with my fav saying at the moment.
if i were an enzyme i'd be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes